I have rather a day to be remembered today. It's not something happy yet more of a mixed feelings. And whenever I have mixed feelings, my lips are sealed yet my hand will do all the thing that my mouth can't.
My 2nd sister just leaved for Jordan today.
You know, its weird.. I've been telling people for months now and did not feel anything yet today during the parting moment I was laughing then burst into tears at the same time. That is just me. I fail in expressing emotion.
I do not know how to be sad, to be jealous, to be mad like a normal human being. Because I spent years hiding, masking them. I guess today, all the years training meant nothing. I cried in the middle of the crowed infront of everyone without restraining myself. And I cry till now.
I do not know why.
Maybe because she is my first friend ever.
Maybe because its my thing of being the first sister, I have those unseen bond with all my siblings.
Maybe because it's near that time of the month.
And maybe, just maybe.. I am too fragile for goodbyes.
Dear Sister, if you are reading this.. I have a few things that was left unspoken just now.
I'm sorry we did not really have a proper goodbye. My tears practically ruin it all. I meant to write u a letter so you could read in the plane bt I could not bring myself to do so till now. I love you, u know. Even if I can't say it out loud by yeah, love you till forever and beyond. Till a thousand times in a thousand lives.
Whatever, anyway.. good luck. Good luck in you life there. I know you're capable of doing so. Our meeting maybe two years, four years from now. And you might miss alot of event in my life.. graduation, continuing of studies, birthdays, wedding maybe.. But it is fine. I mean, in reality.. Happily ever after only applies to weaklings.
That bag I gave you. It meant alot actually. Not just for the sake of giving you a present. It kind of a token for you to remember me. I have not been apart from that bag for 5, 6 years.. So, I hope you get my feelings there. Haha.
Well, that is all. Good luck, once again. Study hard. Until we meet again <3
-MJxx
1 comment:
sebenarnya aisyah dah nak nangis baca post ni.wuwuwu. and aisyah nangis tgk cerita My sister's keeper dalam flight..da la duduk tengah2..pastu nangis pulak tu..hukhuk..nasib baik org kanan kiri tido. haha. sbb aisyah tahu kakak tak kuat. and incident yang before kakak balik kuis hari tu, buat aisyah fikir aisyah taknak fly. maybe kalau takde strength time tu, aisyah tak fly kot. but I did. hope you stay strong there :)
-aisyah
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