Friday, June 8, 2012

Semester break ends!


About my last post, gosh its awful! I mean the grammatical error, the ever so straight forward feelings that I pour.. Gah! I sound like a childish 12 year old. Haha. 

Well, today I'm heading back KUIS but I won't stay there. I'm just there to put my stuff then we're heading to KL/Shah Alam for I don't know.. Shop/sleep/stay/visit my sister.. I'm not in the mood to write right now actually because my stomach is killin' me. But I still want to write because I haven't write for quiet a while.

The last 2days was fanta-bulous. Yesterday I met Najlaa and even though we like, only get to meet for an hour.. I was worth all the 6mth ++ of not meeting. And we went to Universal Studio.. We didn't go inside because it's night and the thing is already close.. But we get to take some picture around the big globe that says Universal studio.. And that's my first time goin' to Sentosa with a car.. I know. I've been living there yet, I still feel like a dang tourist. Haha..

I know, the tudung and the sunlight made face look sumhow  tired?! I da malas nk edit. Gahh!

 And the day before, I was with Raja at Singapore! Talk about major awesomeness! I really can't believe it till now I think. That I get to go to Bugis Junction (My all time favourite place to hang out) with Raja! Haha.. we even bought the same bags.. It was fun. The best memory I ever had for this semester break.

Well, you can judge from my writing that I am extremely in a pain and that somehow decrease my mood to write. I've planned to write and upload alot of picture but I have no will to do so today.. So, I'm so sorry. I'll upload and write again later. 



Sunday, June 3, 2012

Everyone is gettin' married!

First of all, Assalamualaikum..

Second, I'm not jealous! Pfft, why would I be? Okay, maybe a little.. That is why I made this post.

At the hotel last week, I was telling my dad that some of my friends was married and even some have kids just for the mere of having a conversation and then my dad was like, "Oh, so Maryam is stressing out that all of her friends are getting married." And I was like, Whaaa...?

I mean, I'm not like.. "Ohh, why am I still not married?!" Because I slightly don't care. I like being single. I don't have to bother caring for someone but it can be utterly lonely at times. 

And I can get a bit of a green eyes when I saw someone walking with their husband/wife or taking pictures or just weddings. I don't give a d*mn in coupling, really. I mean, when a couple taking pictures, walking together or anything, I would be like, Urg~ Because, no offence, it's disgusting. 

I mean, aren't love suppose to be pure? I mean, that's the whole point right? The thing being Haraam is one thing but- I don't know. Don't get me wrong, and don't tell me I never when through that period because I have been there. I know what it is like to be in a relationship. 

What makes me turn away from finding a boyfriend is that, I felt like it was just a one moment thing. Like taking a temporary medicine. It felt good for awhile but then it just felt wrong and I felt dirty. So that is why I've been in an off-limit act towards guys for 2yrs+ or so.

Right now, I don't even know if I can love anyone anymore. It just felt strange and too risky. I don't know. You know, right now, I'm pretty much in that confuse mode where I need someone to tell me something I'm not aware of or something I don't know. 

The only reason I want to get married early is because I do not want to end up alone or just getting married at the age that you are suppose to (e.g 25).. But more to the alone part. I do not want when I get back home from work, and the house is so lonely that I like I'm dying slowly with the silent.

But I do not want to get married with someone I do not know. It feels awful when you are living alone, but it feels even awful to live with a stranger. 

And I do not want to find love. See?! I'm such a confuse young women. Right now, I'm blaming my future husband for not finding me, and take me away from this, I don't know, confuse feeling! 

Ahh~ This is just my thoughts and opinion and what I felt about this situation. 
Take no serious notice to this. I'll eventually get over it, and well, I'll meet him. 
I'll meet him and tell him what a freakin' idiot he is for being late!


Saturday, June 2, 2012

Semester Break Activities ^^, (Part 1)

Assalamualaikum ^^,

Well, It has been precisely 2 month of my Semester Break and we'll be having another 1 weeks and a half of it more.. Right, so the last 8 weeks doesn't go by so vain.. I actually do something despite me saying how boring it is and that I've been sitting at home.

So here are the details on 'What-I-did' for the past 8 weeks:

# I read alot of books. Well, alot than I've been reading since I started enter College life that is. And one of it is a Classical Literature, "The Scarlett Letter". The writer wrote it in Victorian English and you know what? I kind of like it and I actually use some of it in my writing and my interaction. Like for example, "Why hath thou here?" "Art thou one of thee Women?" It is kind of fun. I love the Victorian period. I love the way they dress so modestly and how they use carriage as the mere transportation and oh, they live in a cottage, though they are still some that live in cottages.

Also, since I'm a supernatural freak, I read Timeless; a story about an Angel and a Demon who had a long history together but for some reason, I think it is quiet similar to the Fallen series by Lauren Kate. I read that too since I started going to Malaysia Library. I know, awkward~ Well, I used to read alot when I stayed in Singapore because there's bookshop and library everywhere but not here. I mean, there are bookshops here in JB but most of the books are in Malay and you know how slow I am to finish Malay books. 

# I started writing again. I mean, really write. As you can see from my previous post. It's been such a long time since I was hooked on to something and keep on writing, my feelings all out. My imagination run wild like horses in the wide field. Oh, and I also wrote some Gothic poem. I have yet to show it. See? Who says staying at home with a problem internet bores out nothing? I think that as long as I have my brain with me, I'll be able to work something out.

And I'm actually glad because I love writing. It's like a part of me that makes me, me. And I felt awful to ever stop but at times, I can be so down and discourage that I always think that I'm not that good. Ah, whatever.. as long as I'm back on track, I'll start running again, InsyaAllah.

# Cooking! I know! I did not know how to cook up until my boredom came. Now then I realized how ignorant I am of the useful appliance at home that goes unused. And that when I'm bored, I love to create things and by cooking you can both create things and pleased others. Awesome huh? So, I started baking chocolate cake, cookies, home made pancakes, some traditional sweets and such. And all those recipe I thanks Google for being a great cooking master. Haha. Oh and AFC too. Hee~

#Learning, learning and still learning. You know, life ain't just what we think we might learn nor what we went through but it's a whole process of learning out of a person syllabus. This holiday, I learn and improve myself alot. Although at time, I'm not that consistence but I try. Will forever be the student of life. After all, this is the time to give your all.. Make some mistakes, and repent, and learn. 

After all, on the way to reach perfection, you tend to be better. Except if you stop.

Well, that is just a part of it. I don't know, the way I saw it.. This semester break is really something. Its fun and all, but I can't wait for the semester to reopen. This semester, I'm definitely trying my hardest to reach perfection! Zettai