Wednesday, December 12, 2012

12.12.12 [Part II]


Hey, you know my last post..? It's my 120 post for this blog. How ironic right? 12.12.12 and the 120 post? #Awesomeness!

Anyway, this won't be long. I want to be able to post this before 12.12.12 ends. I don't even know why it is that special. Well, to be honest, I did not do much tonight. Just accompany Raja to buy some food and such. Not much of an interest. 

So, as an ending to tonight's "event".. I wanna share something. I'm not really good at giving tazkirah that have the Ayat Quran and Hadith even though I would looooove to be good at it. The thing I would like to share is about restraining your needs to do something stupid

What I meant by stupid as above is not being an unintelligent person yet it means that stupid in terms of your virtues or akhlak. 

Oh my God, I hate being too formal. 

Well, to restrain your needs to make sin is simple, you have to avoid all path that leads to it. For instant, if you do not want to involve yourself in a Haram relationship, you must avoid the road that leads to it including the connection between the two of you. Only communicate if its important and if its not then let bygone be bygone. 

Ok, that doesn't really suit the word structure. Oh, well.

Then, do not let yourself to imagine yourself doing it of the 'what ifs'. You know that the what ifs is Shaitan's evil spell to make us question our fate and Allah's planning. So don't ever imagine: "What if I sent him a 'be safe' message? Maybe he will think about me." or "What if I lie? It might not be this complicated" Do not ever go there! Y? Because then you will be both ungrateful and an Idiot. 

Lastly, be strong! Be strong in restraining it. Remember, there are other rewards for you. Much BIGGER! Much VALUABLE! and much BETTER! So stay strong, act strong and be strong. 

That is all.. Sorry If it sounds weird and well, wrong. I am kind of in a mood to sleep. So whatever it is, good bye and good night. I'm going to sleep! Gahh!

Goodbye 12.12.12, I will never ever ever ever see you again. And your little traditional and game. BooHoo!


12.12.12 {Part I}


Here I am, sitting in front of my laptop, eating some Date Cake and well, simply realizing that today's date is 12.12.12.. Well, waddaya say? It's the date of the year! I always love the date of the year for some unknown reason. And of course I'll be writing it down either in my diary or the blog.. Each year without fail! Well, except for the year 2001-2004 if I'm fairly not mistaken.. I was only a primary school student at that time and well, I'm simply not that fascinated with dates.. Ahaa..

Well, it was nothing special.

I just simply write what happen today and such, and oh, maybe this year is a bit different because it is the last year for the whole 'Date-of-the Year' thing. Yeah and you know why? Because There's not going to be a 13th month and so on. That is why I am so not excited about today. 

Just imagine the yearly ritual will stop.. And, and... What will I do next year?! 

I'm kidding. I'm not that fanatic.

So, as usual.. That what-I-did-at-12.12.12 :

1) I start of the day with watching movies. Haha. I mean, I was watching some when the clock strike 12.12.12. I watched a decent movie because that night I had like 3-4 meetings one after the other and well, I'm dying to have some escape from the pressuring world I'm in. So I choose 'College Road Trip' and 'Juno'.. Both movies made me cry. I do not even know why. I do that sometimes. 

Oh, and I slept at 4am -.-'

2) We had a fun class for both Mdm Rabi's and Mdm Hafida's. Learnt how to write a resume and well, during the Public Speaking class we had to do a twisted ending comic. It was so much fun! But even so, my head hurts and I feel very sleepy. Can't wait to sleep early tonight! 

3) On our way back to the hostel, we stopped for an Ice Cream at the PC Carnival and well, I stopped by to buy a Umobile simcard for my broadband. Officially hating Digi. I don't care if you are everywhere! You are not in my heart, that is for sure. 

Oh and the Umobile person or people, because there was 2 of them, when they listen to me talk they were like 'Are you a foreigner?' Don't get me wrong, I don't have a British accent but I would love to have one, it is just that.. There is some involuntary action in my head that whenever I speak to a Chinese, I would speak Singlish or Manglish, you know the 'I know lah', 'You get what?' That kind of slang and when they ask if I'm a foreigner, I was like 'No..' and then I was like, 'Oh, yeah.. I was a Singaporean.' 

They were like really fascinated with the fact that I was a Singaporean and that I was, well, dressed the way I dressed. I'm glad you know, to change their perception even for a little while. 

4) Paperwork, report and such! The usual club activities! It somehow manage to increase my headache. I hate this time of the semester.

I'll continue the second part tonight because well, it is incomplete until the end~

[To be continue...]        

Sunday, December 9, 2012


Hey, Assalamualaikum =D

I'm not going to start with those cliche "Sorry for not writing" words because it made me feel, well.. Typical. Anyway, my clearly went on an unexpected holiday for a few days and I cannot and do not like to write via my handphone nor at the CC where everyone walk behind me and like, take a peek or so. I don't even know why people like to see others computer screen when they have nothing to do with the user or whatev. It's like an involuntary habit or so.

Well, right now, here I am declaring: THIS IS MY FINAL SEMESTER * girlish sequel*

Haha. I'm not really that excited. Just that the word, 'Finally' came across alot of time. It's not that I hate this college so much that I wanna get out.. I love this college. I mean, this past 3 years has taught me more than the last 10 years of Primary and Secondary life. But mainly because, I can't wait for the next step and the next phrase of becoming a Deg student. 

This semester I only have 2 classes; one with Mdm Rabi and the other is with Mdm Hafida.. Both being the senior lecturers and quite busy but not too mention fun and fantabulous. I love their classes. Oh, and not forgetting my dear supervisor, Ms Ros. You know, before I met her, there were talks about how strict and scary she is but getting to know her, she was actually quite fun. See? You never know someone before u actually meet them. 

Oh, and we are suppose to get ready for internship soon. I kind of both looking forward and dreading it because well, I'm not really the kind that is into working with someone. I'm not good with taking orders. That is why I have always and forever set in my mind if one day, when I enter the working life, I want to work alone or working for myself and not under any boss or whatsoever. 

But you know, you never really know the future till you get there.

Oh, btw.. Yesterday at night when we went to a night market and I saw this whole tabligh family where the men all wear kurta and kopiah and the ladies all using the full niqab and dressed in black and a though strike me, "I do not want to be like them."

Oh, don't get me wrong.. It is not that I disagree with their way or so, I mean, everyone is entitle to their own opinion right? But somehow when I picture my future self.. I don't picture myself in that situation and lifestyle. My children should have their own opinion and thoughts on stuff like that as long as its Syariah Compliance. I do not want to force anything. And my husband.. for some reason, I don't mind if he is not like that because truly, neither am I. 

The way I dress nowadays is actually a reminder to myself that I have to take care, for my future. But it does not reflect my inner self that well. I still get super hyper at times, and I don't get all that 'sopan santun' stuff right in me, I don't listen to nasyid and that I prefer supernatural novels and stories at times, and I guess I'm a bit too westernise at times. I don't know how to give a tazkirah like everyone else and well.. I don't really think I reflect that 'Muslimah' girl people had in their mind. 

Sometimes I wanted to say I'm sorry but what am I being sorry about? I'm dedicating my life to Allah and not to what people think. Like a friend said, 'People will forever talk'. I may not act the way I dress and my way of thinking is somewhat different but as long as I follow Allah's order and trying my hardest, I don't think people have the right to talk about me. 

Oh, well, wow.. I get a bit carried away with my emotion. Haha. 

I guess that is all I can update. Thanks for reading =)