Sunday, December 20, 2015

If this was a movie.


It was 78 days ago since I last wrote and a lot has happened. Obviously. 2 months and a half is enough to change a course of someone's life. Especially if that someone is me. But it is not just me, people around me are going through tough changes too and well, it seems like my life is not as dramatic as it theirs but for once, I'm glad. I have had enough of this whole drama thing. I just want to lead a normal life for once but I guess you don't get to choose your way of living is the best thing because God gives you the best you could have had.

Sometimes I wonder if I could like, write my own storyline, what would I wish for? What would I have written? A happily ever after or a tragic ending? I always wanted a dramatic ending after all but I want a normal, laid-back life too. I guess like everyone, I want my character to be happy, to have happiness in my life. 

Of course, I have happiness in my life now, no doubt. And it's not like I want some infinite happiness or anything. I love my life right now.. I just finished the whole series of BBT and TVD. So much happiness is running through this vein. 

Anyway, if I could write my life story, how will it go? 

Well, for one thing I'd be married to my best friend. Not my current one because he is being a jerk lately. Well, at times I do find comfort in him but most of the time he is just begging me to press that red button that says 'WARNING: Explosion might occur". I have never publicize our weird relationship but then again, I never publicized any of my relationships. Serious or not. I just don't feel like telling people. 

But okay, lets just for once I lower down that barrier and tell people about him, I don't know. It might seem once sided. But to be really honest (I know, I'm not answering the question. I'll get back to that later), he is like my addictive pill. I just can't go on days without talking to him. Even though it is a random topic.. it has been 3 years, the longest we've been not talking to each other is 22 days. It was horrid. 

And honestly speaking, he and I may not be hanging out physically a lot but he is the only guy who could stand my emo-shit, my PMS mood, my craziness, blood-thirsty moment, and my drama. And yes, he hated me a lot because I've hurt him countless times. But he is still here and I don't see him plotting a revenge plot against me, I think. Oh, wait, he did once and he told me about it.. but he didn't do it. 

I guess that was the moment I knew.. 

That I have someone I can rely on. That person where I can tell everything, talk randomly and we'd still be talking. No matter how many time we fought. It's not fragile, but not concrete either. I just hope that whatever it is, we'll still be friends.. 

Okay, back to the topic..

I'd be married to the guy who, above all, knew me like the back of his hand and even more, connected to me by something more superior than the claims of love. But then again, this world is not perfect. I might not find him here. So I'd just wish I'd be married to a decent guy who would still love me and be honest about his thoughts. I don't want a romantic guy, or prince charming.. just someone who would help me raise a family, still be supportive of my choice. 

And in my story, I'd be working, achieving my dream, spreading kind words and helping people. I just want to be someone that marks something not only in this world but in people's lives. 

But the storyline. I don't know. I think I love my storyline now. Yeah it is a bit messed up here and there, but that's the way it should be. 

I guess that's all for the update.