I'm not going to start with those cliche "Sorry for not writing" words because it made me feel, well.. Typical. Anyway, my b.band clearly went on an unexpected holiday for a few days and I cannot and do not like to write via my handphone nor at the CC where everyone walk behind me and like, take a peek or so. I don't even know why people like to see others computer screen when they have nothing to do with the user or whatev. It's like an involuntary habit or so.
Well, right now, here I am declaring: THIS IS MY FINAL SEMESTER * girlish sequel*
Haha. I'm not really that excited. Just that the word, 'Finally' came across alot of time. It's not that I hate this college so much that I wanna get out.. I love this college. I mean, this past 3 years has taught me more than the last 10 years of Primary and Secondary life. But mainly because, I can't wait for the next step and the next phrase of becoming a Deg student.
This semester I only have 2 classes; one with Mdm Rabi and the other is with Mdm Hafida.. Both being the senior lecturers and quite busy but not too mention fun and fantabulous. I love their classes. Oh, and not forgetting my dear supervisor, Ms Ros. You know, before I met her, there were talks about how strict and scary she is but getting to know her, she was actually quite fun. See? You never know someone before u actually meet them.
Oh, and we are suppose to get ready for internship soon. I kind of both looking forward and dreading it because well, I'm not really the kind that is into working with someone. I'm not good with taking orders. That is why I have always and forever set in my mind if one day, when I enter the working life, I want to work alone or working for myself and not under any boss or whatsoever.
But you know, you never really know the future till you get there.
Oh, btw.. Yesterday at night when we went to a night market and I saw this whole tabligh family where the men all wear kurta and kopiah and the ladies all using the full niqab and dressed in black and a though strike me, "I do not want to be like them."
Oh, don't get me wrong.. It is not that I disagree with their way or so, I mean, everyone is entitle to their own opinion right? But somehow when I picture my future self.. I don't picture myself in that situation and lifestyle. My children should have their own opinion and thoughts on stuff like that as long as its Syariah Compliance. I do not want to force anything. And my husband.. for some reason, I don't mind if he is not like that because truly, neither am I.
The way I dress nowadays is actually a reminder to myself that I have to take care, for my future. But it does not reflect my inner self that well. I still get super hyper at times, and I don't get all that 'sopan santun' stuff right in me, I don't listen to nasyid and that I prefer supernatural novels and stories at times, and I guess I'm a bit too westernise at times. I don't know how to give a tazkirah like everyone else and well.. I don't really think I reflect that 'Muslimah' girl people had in their mind.
Sometimes I wanted to say I'm sorry but what am I being sorry about? I'm dedicating my life to Allah and not to what people think. Like a friend said, 'People will forever talk'. I may not act the way I dress and my way of thinking is somewhat different but as long as I follow Allah's order and trying my hardest, I don't think people have the right to talk about me.
Oh, well, wow.. I get a bit carried away with my emotion. Haha.
I guess that is all I can update. Thanks for reading =)-MJxx
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