Bismillahirahmanirahim
I was born in Singapore but I grew up in various places. When I was 15, we decided to migrate permanently to Malaysia but I started to really stay in Malaysia when I was 17 because I was still studying in Singapore during that time so I stayed at my Grandma's. Malaysia is a nice country, really. The surrounding, the life, it was fun. I meet nice people here and well, Malaysia is one of my turning point place. But nonetheless, I still yearns for Singapore at times.
Because no matter how long I've stayed in Malaysia, Singapore is my beginning. No matter how wonderful a place is, our hometown is the best. The food, the culture, the people. We reminisce about this.
Why is that?
Because no matter how many time we say we did not belong there, we do.
This in fact, is the same with us human being. No matter how wonderful our life here on earth; meeting the right people, living with the memory, laughing and said to ourself, 'This is life.' Some part of us still yearns for a better place.
And that place is Jannah (Heaven).
We were there. We once lived in that world. And right now, we are just mere stranger in this world. We migrated here and as much as we love our life here, don't you want to go back to your home town?
When I was a kid, the adults always talk about Heaven like how we can have everything there and that there is no evil people there and such. My dad always talk about how the river is filled with milk and juice and that if we want anything, it will come less than a split second. Of course, that opens up my interest to want to go to Jannah.
But as I grew older, that scenario did not seems tempting anymore because as we grew older, our mind starts to make sense of things. But still I wonder, why do adults still want to go to Jannah.
What makes Muslims or even non-Muslims yearns of Jannah?
I guess this is it. Because we all want to go back home.
We are tired of living as a migrate. We are tired of all things that is not permanent here.
We want to go back to the world that we came from.
So guys, let's work our hardest to go back home, kayy?
When I was a kid, during Ramadhan, my Aunty would asked us to write a list of things we want and pray to Allah for it. Some of us wrote bicycle, doll house, new books and such and then we would pray and ask Allah for it. As years passed by, I started to think about this system and knew that something is wrong in between.
Ramadhan is a wish-granting season, no doubt. I've experienced it myself last Ramadhan when I pray to Allah that I want to be accepted to UIA. It was slightly impossible in my part because a) Rayuan Placement is extremely limited and b) I did not meet the requirement. But even so, my parents asked me to keep on praying and praying for it because in between impossibility, miracles happened.
So I did and in the night of the 27th Ramadhan which is believed to be most prominently Lailatul Qadr, I land a chance to do my Iktikaf at IIUM's mosque. I was surprised and overjoyed because the place was extremely crowded and well, I just felt like I want to be there. It was no longer a want but a need. So I prayed that night that I have found the reason why I want to be here and alhamdulillah, I got accepted later on despite it being impossible.
So yeah, Ramadhan is magical itself. Its like everything you touch turns to pure gold and everything you thought becomes a reality.
But even so, some of us still pray for the same thing over and over again each year but we still did not see the sign of it coming.
It hurts isn't it? And somehow you would feel like it is not fair, like why would someone else get it but you didn't. Well, look at the quote above. I find it extremely true.
"It hurt because it mattered."
I got hurt when I did not get any IPTA in the first place and I guess maybe I have to feel the hurt first before I know that it matters to me. When we did not get what we want, we then came to realize that it actually matter to us in whatever terms.
The more we realized that it matters, the more we will be appreciating it in the future. So, make it matter. Make the whole process of hurt into the process of cherishing something.
Maybe you did not get the opportunity or you did not get the person you want or the place or lifestyle, but in between not getting it is that you gain more and more reason to hold on to it.
So don't lose hope. Pray and keep on praying. You do not know if your miracle is somewhere in between that rejection.
