Day 1 #RamadhanTazkirah: Make it matter.

When I was a kid, during Ramadhan, my Aunty would asked us to write a list of things we want and pray to Allah for it. Some of us wrote bicycle, doll house, new books and such and then we would pray and ask Allah for it. As years passed by, I started to think about this system and knew that something is wrong in between.

Ramadhan is a wish-granting season, no doubt. I've experienced it myself last Ramadhan when I pray to Allah that I want to be accepted to UIA. It was slightly impossible in my part because a) Rayuan Placement is extremely limited and b) I did not meet the requirement. But even so, my parents asked me to keep on praying and praying for it because in between impossibility, miracles happened. 

So I did and in the night of the 27th Ramadhan which is believed to be most prominently Lailatul Qadr, I land a chance to do my Iktikaf at IIUM's mosque. I was surprised and overjoyed because the place was extremely crowded and well, I just felt like I want to be there. It was no longer a want but a need. So I prayed that night that I have found the reason why I want to be here and alhamdulillah, I got accepted later on despite it being impossible. 

So yeah, Ramadhan is magical itself. Its like everything you touch turns to pure gold and everything you thought becomes a reality. 

But even so, some of us still pray for the same thing over and over again each year but we still did not see the sign of it coming. 

It hurts isn't it? And somehow you would feel like it is not fair, like why would someone else get it but you didn't. Well, look at the quote above. I find it extremely true.

"It hurt because it mattered."

I got hurt when I did not get any IPTA in the first place and I guess maybe I have to feel the hurt first before I know that it matters to me. When we did not get what we want, we then came to realize that it actually matter to us in whatever terms. 

The more we realized that it matters, the more we will be appreciating it in the future. So, make it matter. Make the whole process of hurt into the process of cherishing something. 

Maybe you did not get the opportunity or you did not get the person you want or the place or lifestyle, but in between not getting it is that you gain more and more reason to hold on to it. 

So don't lose hope. Pray and keep on praying. You do not know if your miracle is somewhere in between that rejection.