Fake it till you make it.

Assalamualaikum.

I just feel like writing.

I mean I have poetry test tomorrow and my heart is making that painful reminder of my anxiety so I decided to ignore it and write. Usually I write stories every week but since this week is so emotional and stressful, I decided not to write.

But I want to write an entry.

The title of this entry is from Hlovate's novel. Anthem, I think. Check it. Like... seriously check it. Hlovate is the best writer of all time apart from John Green. In fact, Hlovate's novel is what motivates me to be a better muslim and somehow gave me this moi, moi moment. I know, I'm being such a girl. Haha.

This is one of that moi, moi moments. Ahaa. Even though it has a grammatical mistake there.

The conversation is between Minn and AO. I always find them the sweetest couple of all time. You have to like read it to find out. But really, Versus is one of the book that makes me strong enough to abandon my past and search for a better future. 

So, Fake it till you make it?

Yup, that is what I learn throughout my life. Sometimes we don't get what we want but that is not the reason to go mopping around and feel sad. It was not meant for you. And what you get, well, take time to love it. Fake it if you must. 

Because we are human. 

We can't all be perfect and started liking it in just a second. IT.TAKES.TIME.
It takes time to accept the fact that you did not get what you want and it takes time to adapt what you get. 
And it between the process, fake it. Fake liking it because eventually, you'll like it. We human just need time. 

That is what I learnt throughout stuff that I did not get. And times it may seem easy to mop around and blame fate but you are not doing yourself a favor. You are just making things worst. Blaming fate is like blaming the inevitable. 

That's one of Hlovate's too. Seems like its a Hlovate night. Haha.

Anyway, I did not plan to write on this topic. I plan to write about fear but hey, whichever.

Truthfully, I am not feeling well lately. Not my physical state, its my mental state. I keep on thinking negative thoughts and well, I got those depression overwhelmed feeling. I don't know why. 

I keep on thinking how imperfect I am and how broken I am and well, how weird I am. I'm pretty weird, I know.
And I started to detached myself from people.
Maybe its all the subjects but maybe its me.
I don't know. 

I am not the type to get emotional attached to someone so I don't do expressing feelings and 'crying on someone's shoulder' well. Especially the crying part. Not.at.all.

Oh, but I'm good at faking my emotions, so we are back to the topic.
I guess at times you just need to act and well, deal with your problem all alone. 

But you have Him, regardless. 
And well, not everyone understands you,
but He sure do. 
And the best part is that He'll listen. Always. All the time.  

So don't be afraid. Don't be reluctant. And don't be unmotivated. 
You'll get by just fine. 
And maybe one day you'll fine that one person who fits perfectly in that missing piece of yours.
And well, you'll get through. 
You definitely will, Little Angel. 

So, get back up and face the world.
Fake it till you make it, Love.

-MJxx