hey, give me strength..

i have the urge to write even though i need to solat, revise and go to class in a min..

i just did not know who else to let out this thing too..
i guess i prefer to write then to talk..
atleast when i'm writing, the only judge will be the future me..
but if i talk, there's alot of judge and who knows, some bad stories going on..

the thing is, sometimes when you make a decision.. not everyone will like it.
but its the strength in that risk that keeps you going..
that tiny light that everyone tries to blow off still shines,
and keep on going no matter what..

i guess life takes you by surprise all the time..
who knows.. you did not know what tomorrow will brings but it will brings..
i guess i'm a writer and i do thinks according to what i want, my own will..
and that no matter what i'll try to stick to it..
even if it hurts like burning hell, it tears me apart..
i'll still keep that shiny light going no matter what..

please, the you that occupies my heart..
give me the constant strength that i need..
be that person who will not treat me differently after what i did..
the person who will continue saying..
"you do not need to explain, because u r just so maryam.. the only one that capable of doing something this drastic and nt thinking about it beforehand yet you still can smile and act like nothing happens"

please.. please..
do not go away..
i need that hand to pull me back up..
to slap me hard and says things happens..
stuff like that that no one will ever dare do..

stay with me till eternal comes to an end..
till my last blood dries..
stay with me, the you that occupies my heart..

-mjxx

Allah gives you trial, He too gives you blessing!

Assalamualaikum..

I know, I havent write for awhile and has been kind of in a hiatus. It is just that things are going on busy with stuff and hey, did you know tat life writes better stories then you? Awesome huh? But you know what sucks? That unlike stories, you can't erase them in case it gets weird and ugly.. You just needs to write on and on until somehow time will eventually erase it for you..


Lately, people have been.. unkind towards me. Oh God, that came out wrong.. Haha. 
I guess this is the time where life wanted to show me how I deal with that unkind people. 
And I've not been dealing well.
I somehow lose my nerves when it happens and well, things gets ugly.
Pretty ugly -.-'


Well, it is 12 at night and I do not want to talk about it.
I want to talk about how wonderful life has been and how unintelligent those who would find time talking about others behind their backs is. Yes! 
Even Islam forbid that, atleast I have my stand.


Whatever, I could not care less.


Oh, lately I have been struggling to khatam my Quran in time for Ramadhan.
And I felt close.. Close to the Quran and to well, my fitrah.
I'm glad in my midst of trial, I found Him.
Alhamdulillah!