Well, suddenly I had this feeling to write because something cam up and well, I just read a friend of mine's blog and I was like, 'who's this?' Because her writing is unbelievable. She write it so smoothly and it somehow felt like a silk of words when I read it. And towards the end, I figured who it was without her having to give a clue because I know those words that were quoted in her entry and I know who she is and yes, I looked up to that ability of hers.
Well, I didn't plan to write about that. I was suddenly struck by this question that I know people won't ask directly but it must be there, somewhere at the tip of their lips.
"Why do you want perfection in everything you do?" & "Why do you work so hard and get paranoid all over?"
Well, truthful said... I never been here before. Being someone who involves in a club or student activity much less being an organization or exco. I've always been a wallpaper who people tend to forget and never was my name being bought up unless they desperately need extra person and I never, ever had a grade that I could be proud of but now, right here, right this moment... I was recognized, I was in a dean list, I had job to do and DO get involve in the student body. I always dream of this moment and I want to work hard for it.
I know when people said I was being desperate or being to paranoid at something so insignificant but I guess because they aren't in my shoes right now, they wouldn't know. They question my action but would they know my intention. Yes, I make ALOT of mistake, yes, I can be desperate and paranoid at times, and yes, I might not be totally fit in your life but guess what? I'm human and human are open to flaws.
Call me what you want.. A newbie, an attention-seeker, a know-it-all.. I don't care because I kept in mind that no on in this world has the guidelines to shape me because Allah is the only one who have the power on me. And as long as I'm not doing anything that would make me a disobedient servant.. I think I'm all good to go.
-MJxx
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