Day 9 #RamadanTazkirah: How to love the things you hate II

I just realized that I miss out on one very important question regarding this topic.

"Why love the thing you hate?"

Well, the thing is with us human is that we vary with ideas and opinions. Some might like this while others hate it and vice versa. So the definition of what are the things to hate and love varies too. Most of us tend to incline towards the things that we love more, obviously.

But what about the things we hate?

I read in an article that doing things that you love is easy, the real challenge is doing the things you hate. And I was like, wow, right. I never thought of it that way before. Usually I will avoid doing things I hate like ironing and waiting. Yes, I hate ironing clothes. Too much of a hassle.

And another reason for doing things that you hate is because the things that you hate is good for you. Like for example, sports. I hate sports, no doubt. I am more of an indoor person. But of course, sports is good for me and at times I force myself to enter sports competition.

My friend forced me to enter a running competition once. We had to run around IIUM and it's like 7km. I for one thing hate running. Yes, H-A-T-E. Not a strong dislike but hate. Haha. Because I always came in last and I will get tired half way. But when she asked me to join, I accept because I thought, "hey, who knows, maybe this is the starting point of me liking running, huh?"

And I came in 5th. 5th last out of around 200 participants. Haha. I end up walking all the way but what surprised me is that I did it. I walked/run 7km and I did came to the finishing line without giving up. That is an improvement.

Though I still hate it, but at least a small part of me would be thinking of joining again. At least I have the experience of doing it instead of shutting it out totally.

Another example is to cover your aurah. I know that Islam is not a religion of force. So we can't force others to cover their aurah properly. But at the very least, force yourself to cover your aurah properly. Alhamdulillah, I have been brought up in a hijab-wearing family but being quite a liberate person, my choice of clothes is a bit disappointing. I used to drown myself with the latest fashion regardless if it's really syariah compliance or not.

But when I woke up from that lifestyle, I forced myself to wear a better garment. It was hard, never said it was easy. I have to like throw away my dresses and jeans and short scarves. Well, I didn't exactly throw, just that I put it elsewhere and wallahi, when I look at them I would smile sadly and brace myself to be a better me.

I used to hate skirts, but now I love it. I hate kurung and well, I still won't wear it but I don't really hate it anymore. And quite surprisingly, wearing the Niqab helps a lot. Because when you wear a niqab, obviously you will observe other parts of your attire to make sure it will not look 'out of place'.

So, here I am, loving my loose jubah more and more each day. Simply comfortable and I don't even need the preference of the latest fashion to be my guideline.

Girls and guys out there, if you know the thing is good for you but you kind of hate doing it like waking in the morning or wear better clothes or listen to Islamic Scholars talk and such, try to force yourself because if it is good for you by nature then you will, insyaAllah, love it.

Just try. InsyaAllah.

A Niqab entry: Why I wear it?

Assalamualaikum^^,


Well, I haven't make this public but here I am.. atleast, I think I'm ready to tell people about it.
I have been wearing the Niqab for 2 weeks now and I have been meaning to write this entry since the first week but I guess time envy me for some reason.

Day 1 of me wearing it is awkward! I mean, the morning of it, I wasn't wearing and trust me, not a thought AT ALL! I didn't plan it, that's for sure and the intention of really wearing one has never crossed my mind but I guess Allah fairs my fate better =). 


The week before I wear the veil was a terrible one. I meant, at that moment, trials rain me that alot of time I have to restrain myself from crying and you know, whenever I face hardship, I always thinks of it as Allah is holding a surprise present for me and I think this is it.


That day, on the 16th of July, around 2+pm.. 
I was faced with the ultimate trial (yes, I exaggerated it a bit) and at that time I broke down alone that even tears would not accompany me. I then consult a friend, a close one about it and I don't know how or what courage my heart received but it was there. That kind of feeling when the Light shone down on you and you can't move but be mesmerized by it. That was it. 

"Allah knocked on that tiny closed door of mine and I have answered it without a second thought." 

I took that courage I never had and witness a whole new world behind a piece of cloth called Niqab.


It was amazing because I wasn't that girl. I'm not that girl that hides my face, actually. I'm not the type to cover everything at times but I guess when Allah bestowed upon you the Light, you can't run away. Not accepting the Light is like the worst loss of all.


And I began my journey, and quite frankly, it feels normal. And secure. But that I will write on another entry. 


So, obviously, people around me asked those typical question like, "Why I wear it?" "How is my parents reaction?" "How does it feel?" You know, I felt like I just got married or something. Haha.


In my own world, I feel like I've just died and reborn anew. Or like I just got bitten by a vampire. You still live in the same body and soul but there is a part of you dies during the transmission (Okay, I'm a Vampire freak.. Ignore that!)

So.. the ultimate question: Why? Why I choose to wear it?


Let me asked you, when you fall in love.. Do you plan on it first or it happened out of the sudden? That's a part of my answer.. It happened! Allah happens to give me the start gear and I drive. Because its Allah's decision upon me and who am I to disobey? 


I did asked Allah that if this is not from Him, if this is just some playful moment, a mistake.. Please, please put some doubt.. Even a tiny hint of doubt but He didn't. So I accept His planning and go with it.


 And Alhamdulillah, after I tried several time to search for that reason so I can renew my Niat but still I could not find one that is against my Faith. 


I didn't wear it to look mysterious,
I didn't wear it because I follow some trend,
I didn't wear it because someone asked me to,
And definitely, I didn't wear it because I'm pious or better then other girls.
No!
In fact, I'm the worst sinner I ever know. 
I wear it because of Allah's command upon me.
I wear it because I'm the worst person and the sinners among the sinners.
I wear it.. Because I'm not strong enough without it. 


I've sin a thousand million sins before this.
So don't look at me like I'm perfect.. Like I'm pious.
And judge me when I make a slight mistake.


I am still the girl I was before and I'm trying to be a better me for my own sake.
Don't question my past 'cause it is all over.
I've sinned in the past and still making them in the future. 
So when I did.. forgive me! 


And the answer on to the question is: I wear it because Allah has opened my heart to it and asked me to wear it as a Sunnah from the Prophet's pbuh wives. Also, because Allah wants me to represent Islam with is proper attire and show the world that I'm not afraid to be judge by them. I'm not afraid to be label as old fashion and be oppress by the society because I know what I'm doing is right and that this step I'm making is a step closer towards the Lord. And for sure, I'm not wearing the Veil for anyone, not even myself. It's purely for my Creator and because of Him, InsyaAllah!


So I hope that people will understand and stop condemning those who wears a veil. We are human too. 
If wearing a Veil makes us Angels then I rather not wear it. 


-MJxx