The you that enlighten me..

Assalamualaikum, Minna-san! ^^,


I'm currently watching Fairy Tail, that is why I insert alot of Japanese words.. Minna-san means "Everyone!" ..
Hee~

You know, now that I realized something.. People usually monologue in their mind right? Like sometimes they have scenarios or some sort of conversation in their mind. I have that too. I mean, most of the time I'm with my conscious.. You know, the person you're talking too.


Now that you mention it, it's almost 8 years, ne?


8 years since I met him. 


This has been a secret I kept and still will be keeping. Sometimes that cat is out of the bag but most of the time, I rather it stays in. 

One of my fav epd!

Back to the topic, I usually monologue on things that sort of entertain me like fighting with magics, or some sad moment, or a sadistic one or just rather a conversation with him. He's sort of my spirit.. Ne H-kun? 


Sometimes I feel like screaming my head off or give up when the tide is too high for me to overcome but.. because its there.. because I can feel my other half beating, still struggling to live.. I became strong. My inner self, no, my other half.. you gave me the strength sometimes for me to overcome reality.


Yup, my biggest weakness.. Reality.


That is why I rather close my eyes and drift away that I would find myself inside my own world. I would feel safe. Safe inside that kingdom of mine that no matter what, my heart is somewhat alive.


Beating, beating. And keep on being alive. 


-MJxx

You are the Number One for Me !

Assalamualaikum!

When that tears escape your eyes,

I want to be the one to catch it,

So it won't be sliding down insignificant..

Dropping down to earth..

Like as though that tears of yours,

Is nothing but water itself.

It's been awhile since I wrote a poem. 

And it's been awhile since I wrote a story too.

Though I never did actually wrote a complete one yet.

But I'll strive to do so!

Yosh!!

Ne, ne.. Do you want to know the real meaning behind this poem?

It means, that tears itself maybe water-like but for me I never look at tears as though they are water. I look at it as though tears is a sacred thing that human can produce. And tears, they aren't really something you could produce while faking it. 

True that sometimes we tend to produce fake tears or "crocodile tears" but you know, in order to produce it, you still have to think of something that will make you cry. 

So yeah, tears are sacred and I don't like to see someone crying because I can't help them from not crying and its hopeless. I'm hopeless. 

That is why, I want to catch that tears before it hit the ground so you know, that I'll never ever let sadness conquer you nor will I let that depress look reside your eyes.

The strength to endure.

Assalamualaikum ^^,


Yare2, it's been awhile since I last update. It's not like I'm busy or something because it's my 3mth semester break and for someone who is consistently busy at College; having nothing to do is a drag.


It's like when you are so used to holding bags or stuff that when you are no longer required to do so, it feels empty and different that you need to hold on to something.


Haha. I know the hyperbolic is somewhat hard to understand.


So I've been watching Fairy Tail anime since the start of my holiday and I somehow learn alot from it. Amazing right? The story is basically about strength, and friendship, and family. But I would like to touch on the strength.

Often at times we came to war with our own self. A jihad is not just war between people but rather, a jihad between you and yourself is the hardest and greatest of all. This is because you knew your own strength and your own weaknesses and to fight your nafs or your desire; Who will actually win?


For me, my strength has always been my family and friends.


I know it sounds cliche but yes, I can never fight if its not because of them.
Oh, and the ultimate strength of all; Allah.


This may sound weird and chessy but one of my greatest mission is to protect my love ones.
My protective instinct is somehow high.
That I can't see my friend or family cry.
I would somehow felt guilty and weak and useless because I can't prevent them from not crying.
And I would protect them from not only physical danger but also the danger unseen.


Someone once said to me, "Maryam, you can't protect everything. You can't forever be the shield for them. At times those trials came to them that they have to deal it on their own."


I know.


But as long as I can be their shield, I will.
As long as I can fight for them, I will.
As long as I have the strength to absorb their sadness, I will.


Because I want my purpose in this life to mean something.
I want to be there for others as long as I'm still standing.
Because that is what Rasullullah (pbuh) taught us right?

Live life for others too. 

-MJ 

Friends; they'll help you to Jannah.

Assalamualaikum ^^,

Well, I haven't update for quite sometime, huh?

This is just a short entry because time is catching up and I haven't study my Varieties much..

Friends; they are people that you are not born with but rather you need them in your life..

Something like knowledge.

And friends are an important element that will in the end bring you to Jannah or Hell.

That is why we have to be careful in picking them.

I used to have friends that could not care less about Islam and I too tend to derive away from it..

But now, alahamdulillah..

Those whom I befriend with are those people that bring me closer to Jannah.

With them, instead of gossiping or rather bad-mouthing people, we tend to talk about problems regarding youth about Islam.. Talk about Islam..

And its fun. It really is.

And instead of persuading me to go somewhere where I'll lose myself, they persuading me to go to places that I would find myself..

And the best part is.

The moment that we are together, the time spent..

It'll be bless by Allah.

Thanks friend, for pulling me back from the dark pit..

For being the hand that will make the journey to Jannah easier..

-MJxx

C'est La vie (That's Life!)

Assalamualaikum.

I haven't update my blog for awhile and oh, how my head ace so badly.
This time of the semester things are getting harder and well, pretty much stressful!
And I miss blogging. 


No, I miss the free time that the only thing I wanna do is writing stories and reading tons of Vampire Novels.
But those free time is hard to get nowadays.
With all the assignments, projects, meeting and such.
I don't think I can somehow manage this.
Huu~

"I have always LOVE books. I grew up with having them by my side and being around books somehow make me feel secure and I would always beam and gets super-excited going to a library, Book fairs or Bookstores."

You know, there's alot of book fair lately at my College and well, of course being bookworm such as myself, I couldn't stand it.
I feel like the rm200 is soo not enough.
Though, after a week.. I only spend rm50 for some books on Solat and Rasulullah saw.
Another rm150 I plan on buying Novels! 
And some English Reference book.
Oh and some notebook and maybe.. urg! No, no, no..
I think that's enough.


I soo wanna go to Kinokuniya because it has been my all-time favorite books store besides Borders, MPH, Popular and Times.
But, oh.. Malaysia has only 1 Kino book store. Such a waste.
Even Singapore have 3 Kino bookstore!
How I wish that I can use my voucher in Singapore. 
Fuu~

Well, Que Sera Sera then.
What ever my vouchers are going to be spend at, that's it. =) 


-MJxx

I want to reach you (Kimi ni Todoke)

Salam ^^,

It's a very long hiatus, ne?
It's been projects, mid-term exams, assignment-soon-to-be-due and such.
Though I miss writing..
And also, I finished watching an anime that I so want to watch, Kimi ni Todoke.. 
Which contribute to the title above ^^,


I'm not gonna talk about the story just that it makes me think..
The one you love the most, you might want your feeling to reach theirs right?
No matter what the circumstances. 

That's how I think of our relationship with Allah swt.
We love Him so much that we'll do anything, everything so that our feeling would get across..
We'd do anything to show our affection to Him.
That's how far we should get and by right, there's no limit.


Our love to The Almighty should not have any limit and of course we do not need to worry about Him returning our Love because He definitely will. 
More than ours ^^,


So, show your love.
Show your love to Him.
The one that no others can overtake the place.
Because He is your Creator ^^,


-MJxx

Something 'bout luv...

Salam ^^,

Someone used to ask me, 'Can you right the definition of love?'
At that time, I did not know how and I end up scrabbling random stuff...
But now that I remember back that question,
I want to give it a try once more.
So this is what I got to say about love:


"You don't go by knowing love by defining it, you get to know love through experiencing it.
But before you experience what love is, there's other feelings that you might encounter beforehand.
Like the feeling of jealousy, or heartache, possibly a selfish feeling by wanting to own that person all to yourself.
Also not to forget the feeling of being utterly happy when that person did something so insignificant,
And that smile that won't stop fading when thinking about that person.
But you cry, and hate that person sometimes.
It's weird but you, yourself can't explain why.
Because love is impulsive and weird and unexplainable...
And it feels like you are grabbing, holding tightly on a thorny rose.
Afraid to lose it but painful to hold upon."


That's how I see love and everyone sees love differently.  


-MJxx