The Chains & Cuts that Torture Me

Salam Eid~


"Sometimes I just want to break free from all that chains me down and just run..
Run till my heart beats twice as hard..
But I realized that no matter how hard I ran or how far I went..
My wrist will still leave a chain mark I can never get rid of.."

*Sorry 4 the photo.. It's hard 4 me 2 find a suitable 1*

That's what I post tonight on my FB acc. after I read her blog. I know she didn't update frequently but I always read back again and again her previous post and never get bored. It's amazing you know, to have someone like that passing through me life. 


I never fail to memories how her writing pattern goes, 
looking into that Dreamy Eyes and wish we were best friends.
Yea, she has the eye I love most.. not so big cuz I don't like big eyes.. its creepy.


Everyone has a different personality and hers was soothing.. 
Like a fairytale princess who got lost in the middle of reality.. 


Anyway.. 


I just received an email from Fanfiction.net that someone commented on one of my stories. The thing is.. the last time I post any stories there is when I was 15. It's been almost 5 years now. I was really touched when the person commented that "It was a very good story" and that I should continue. 


You see, I've been writing blogs, and stories and post them online where people read&review since I was 13. 
And even though my grammar seems to be the least thing I'm good at preserving.. people like it. 
And i met many friends there online who seems to be as weird as I am ^-^v . 


Here's the link if you ever wonder how I was when I'm 13-16:

MJ's Fanfic Site!

That's all..
Right, title xde kene mengene nan post.. =X

P.s: Oh, and ignore all that childish blabbers.. I was only 15!

update after HIATUS!

Salam 21st eid *i think..*


Im updating from KUIS CC so...
I only hav 3 more papers left and Im gonna finish 2 b4 goin' back..
So that's kinda the reason why I havent Update alot..
But i'm pretty sure I'll be updating avter exam alot..
ja ne!

Rindu SG!

Salam Eid!
*I'm doing it.. I'm doing it!*

Firstly! SG bkn SUNGAI ehh..
SG 4 us is SINGAPORE.

My hometown. Where I was born. Where beautiful and bad memories are created. Where I first start being a teenager. A rebellious teenager that is. And it's where I LEARN to enjoy Life.

Semua kwn2 sy kat sne kate dorg Rindu sy. & looking at the pictures, yes.. I miz hangin' out at Bugis where we would window shop and BUgis Street where I would waste my money on dresses I 4got I have. And I miss eating Nachos at the Cinema and drinking BubbleTea.

I miss Long John Silver & eating Old Chung Kee with my friends and I miss shopping with my grandma. I miss sleeping with her too. And eating Fish & chips at Pasir Ris Hawker Center. And watching Malaysia Drama. Oh, I miss that damn irritating Cat.

"We won't know what we love until we lose it."

Oh, and I hate changing Nationality.
I hav nothing against Malaysia.. but I prefer Singapore.

x0x0,
MJ.

=)

"Sometimes you try your hardest to hate that person.. but u can't. "

I hope we'll be friends again soon. 
Because I really like you.
Even though there's a wall between us now.
I hope we manage to climb it through.


And for some reason,
You're still that girl I hope I can be one day ^.^ ..


xoxo,
mj

Why is it hard 4 Maryam to say L.O.V.E? Hmm...

Salam Eid! 
*I'm going to say this 4 a mth! Hua3..*


I wrote an entry before 'bout love and yes, I'm gonna write another now relate to it. Admit it, no matter where you go, you can't run away from it. It's like part of life or something..

Firstly, no.. I'm not immune to love in fact love is the main reason why I'm still writing today, why I didn't give up being a writer.. because love gave me a strength to keep on writing, and because I write better 'bout love then any other subject. That's just it.


"I'm a writer. I write lies. I probably live in one"


But I  can't say it. I never, EVER in my whole entire life.. Say I love someone. Say I'm inlove with them straight in their face or SMS or write it down. Anything. And I'm not planning on it. 


To say that I never love or like someone is a LIE. I used to like this person and I thought he's THE ONE. You know, like the Knight in Shining Armour who helps the Damsel in Distress *me*. But no. 


I was wrong. Damn it. 

That was one of the reasons why I never said L.O.V.E before. Because I know, the moment my lips let it out, he's the RIGHT guy. The one who held the other part of my Heart. And I don't want to regret  when I said those Sacred Word if we're not meant to be.


I know if I waited for awhile, Allah will gave me the Right one. Like my uncle said, "No matter how hurting or hating you are in this situation.. One day you'll meet Mr. Right and your life will be a fairytale regardless of the hating&hurting before."


So I know that why is it hard for me to said it now.. Because they say that those Sacred Word are only meant for your True Love and yes, I believe in True Love. I was brought up in tales of Cinderella, Snow white and was fed with a lot of Fairytale Happily Ever After to denied it. 


So...

I know that I'm a total anti-saying love now but I'm only anti-saying love in reality. To a real person. Because I don't want to get hurt. :)

That's all from my babble this morning and yes, I wake up early today. *Yey me!*

It's been years, huh?

Heyy.. and Salam Eid!
('cuz ya noe, people celebrate it 4 lyk a mth.. -.-')

That's my RBF from lyk we're 7. We met during my 1st year of schooling and we're lyk dang' naughty.. Well, kids.. So we were punished together too.. We aren't close during that time and when I was 8, my family moved to Msia because my dad further his study here at UKM.. 


So, we meet again when I was 13.. At first we're just mere classmates but then, sumhow we got closer because we were assign to sit beside each other and I guess she's the only one who can accept my weird-ness.. haha.


Those are the times where we hung out avter school, go lib, buy stuff 2gether and just being teenagers. And I drop out of school when I was 15, but we continue to contact each other.. and when I was 16, that the year where I was soo free in doing anything that I want and we start hanging out again and I even slept at her house once because I dun want to sleep at my cuzzin hs.. 

That was the moment that we decide on THE BOOK . It's like a secret book where we exchange each time we met and write our secrets and we did write till the book come to its end around our early years of being 17. We then continue it at THE BLOG but it didn't work out much because both of us had things that matter most that year. 


17, I still came to SG often and she came to my hs in JB sometimes and we go library or hanging out at Bugis or Tamp or sum place else but now.. After my years at KUIS.. Haha, ok.. just a year and a half.. *Ckp mcm lame lakk kat kuis..* =p we just contact thru FB and sumtimes Skype and we still talk like we used to.. Hours and hours of stuff.. 


It was fun. 


It's the 1st time I felt of having someone so close that she knows my life without me telling what happened before. 

I decided to write this entry when I accidentally kicked my treasure box under my table where I put all my memorable diaries and stuff and I saw it. THE BOOK. Oh yea, we named it THE BOOK because we didn't know what else to name it. Sound EPIC huh? Haha! I read it and yes, I laughed and smiled and it bring back both memory that I hate to let go.. I wish years later.. I still kept it close to me and I'll give it to my children to read it. And yes, I hope I still am holding on to this Friendship.

After all, we do promise to Travel around the world together, right?

MJxx

Oh, p.s, This is for you:

^_^v

  

~*Letters to Juliet*~

Salam!

I know, sume org bz update about Raya.. Sy sibuk update pasal Movie. Movie yg agak lame lakk tu.. but who cares.. I have like only a few days of Raya Mood then I got bored. This year, people came here more then we go there because we had a transportation problem going in and out of Singapore so people came to see us more then we go there. Though I miss having one of those going in SG moment. Huu~

Anyways, yesterday I watched Kung Fu Panda 2 & Letters to Juliet to well, I just use this to distract myself from studying.. Huu~ Back on, the story is amazing because yes, it was taken in Italy and Verona and the story line is nice with a background story of Romeo & Juliet + they had Taylor Swift's 'Love Story' on but I guess its one of those movies that make you realize something.

It makes me realize that:

• The person you are married to might not be your soul mate nor the person you thought is the right one for you.
• That true loves don't have an expiry date. You might be inlove with him when you're a teenager and when you're old and crinkle up; he might still be that prince charming in your eyes. Like Claire and Lorenzo.
• That you might be the most egoist, realist, coldest person but when love struck, you act like as though it'll go away.. always reckless and unguarded. Like Charlie.
• That you mustn't give up on searching for that person who holds the other part of your heart.
• That.. Italy is still beautiful. Damn it. I still wishes to go there and see the Juliet site.
• That Shakespear is a guy, of course and he writes the most beautiful love story every told and he's a GUY. The species who I though won't understand love at all.
• And..
• I still didn't know how true love feel because I never experience one.

I cried 3 times during the movie because it somehow touches my heart. Well, that's all. Have fun watching if you haven't watch it yet ^_^

MJxx